Dear John- from the lovely and always sappy Nicholas Sparks
I honestly cannot tell if this is genius or absolutely horrific:
"As soon as the plane landed, my anticipation grew and I could feel my ticker booming. But I didn't know how to act. Should I jog toward her as soon as I spotted her or stroll casually, cool and in control? I still wasn't sure, but before I could dwell on it, I was in the cattle chute, moving up the aisle. I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder as I emerged from the ramp that accessed the terminal. I didn't see her at first- too many folks milling around. When I scanned the area a second time, I saw her off to the left and instantly realized that all my worries had been pointless, for she spotted me and came running at full tilt. I barely had time to drop my duffel bag before she jumped into my arms, and the kiss that followed was like its own magic kingdom, complete with its special language and geography, fabulous myths and wonders for the ages. And when she pulled back and whispered 'I missed you so much,' I felt as if I'd been put back together after spending a year cut in half."
Cheesy? Check.
Gratuitous use of all manner of cliches? Check.
Awkward repetition and specificity of the phrase "duffel bag"? Check.
Kiss= magical kingdom geography? Myths? Also check.
Well played, Sir Nicholas, well played.
Now if only the cover of your book didn't look as though Channing Tatum was wearing a mummified head around his neck. (Where is that girl's body!? For real. The expression on her face screams "mummified.")
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